Thursday, April 29, 2010


I have been absent from the computer world for about a week now. It wasn't an intentional cyber cleanse but it was good for me. I am not a person that spends an inordinant amount of time on the computer but it had become a bit of a crutch for me an hour or so a day for the last few years. Sometimes even when annoying things happen that seem to complicate our world-like your computer going kaput- we have to realize it might just be for our own good. In honor of my computer "crashing"...CRASH INTO ME -DAVE MATTHEWS

Friday, April 23, 2010


Before even opening my eyes this morning I was chuckling and a little disturbed. The remnants of a dream were running through my head. In short, my keys drop. I stoop to pick them up when I feel someone behind me. I rise and pretend not to notice but walk a little faster. A lot faster... I RUN. I pull out my cell phone. Do I call 911? NO! I begin to type- I call it THE DARK TWEET.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I am taking this week to be aware of judging and being judged. I need to step back and look objectively at why people, myself included, feel the need to judge each other. I am fairly sure it has a lot to do with seeing in others what we don't like about ourselves. Why else would we feel so personally offended by the life choices of people we often don't even know. I never thought of myself as a judgmental person until I took the time to step back and really look at how I interacted with others. When I moved to San Francisco right out of college I was first and foremost in love with that town and always will be. However, the downtown was full of homeless. At first, I was pretty generous considering I was completely broke. If I had change in my pocket it was there for the asking. Somewhere along the way I began to decide who was worthy of my money 50 cents or $1. I started to harden my heart. I started to look right through them. Now I know you can't just give your money away all the time and it is good to use some discretion but really who am I to judge whether a person is worthy of my help or at least a look in the eye. I have always loved this song. If you have time, really give the lyrics a listen. HOLE IN THE BUCKET-SPEARHEAD

Friday, April 16, 2010


It's my birthday I'm not blogging today.... tonight.. Love and Light to all you friends and fiends... BEATLES-THEY SAY ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pop-Start- DAY 31- RAY CHARLES

I had a peach today. When was the last time you had a peach. So goooood! Eat your fruit:) Oh yeah, that peach made me think of 2 songs. One was the juvenile, silly one from the nineties ..... movin to the country... gonna eat..... blah blah.Then, of course, there is the amazing RAY CHARLES- GEORGIA ON MY MIND

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


"One thing no one tells you about having kids is how much you will miss your husband."
I was chatting with some friends the other day when we all chimed in about how true this was. You miss them and desperately sometimes. All of the energy and time you spent on each other is now devoted to the other love of your life- your child. I think a mistake I and many men and women make is to forget to show the same amount of affection and attention you did before the kids came along. I am promising myself and my husband that I will take a little more time to SLOW DANCE-JOHN LEGEND

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Well... we, my son and I, were out in our yard watering flowers with my new watering can when I realized I needed to give the the whole lot of my plants a good splash so I headed for the shed to get the hose. Of course, my husband stuck the hose in the back of the shed again so I had to work myself past our bikes, the lawn mower and all the other crap in there. Well, as I am bending over to work the hose free from the rake the shed goes suddenly dark. grrr. i tell Elijah all the time "don't shut the door when mommy is in here". Well.. he didn't just shut the door. He THREW THE LATCH TOO! I am locked in my shed! My just turned 3 yr old is outside ALONE. I am locked in my shed which on an 82 degree day felt like about 105 in a matter of minutes. Don't panic I tell myself. I calmly tell him to unhitch the door. What, he says. UNLOCK THE DOOR. I don't know how, he said. DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU SHUT THE DOOR? yes, he says. THEN DO THE OPPOSITE, NOOOOOOWWWW! I may have even let a bleepin word slip out. Ok, I did for sure. Mind you I have rarely even let a damn slip out in front of my son in 3 years... Ok to make a long story short 5 minutes later, which felt like 5 days, I finally calm myself enough to tell him to look at me through the crack in the door and to listen. "my darling, Elijah, will you reach right here(i stuck a key through the crack to point to the latch..and yes I see the irony of the key on this side of the door) and just push it the other way.Ok, he says. That simple. The door creaks open and I AM FREE! He on the other hand is not. I had a 5 minute conversation with him that probably felt more heated than my time in the "hole". anyway, as I sit here thinking about the whole thing trying not to have yet another panic attack I am realizing that 3 yr olds don't respond well to panic. Next time he accidentally locks me in a shed (or bathroom or what may come) I just need to remember to take a breath or wear big boots so I can kick down the bleepin DOOR! Well this song resembles the emotion I felt taking my first breath of outside air after my terrifying all be it short fiasco in the shed. FEELING GOOD-NINA SIMONE

Monday, April 12, 2010


I must dream in music. I often wake up with a song in my head, if you haven't noticed from my posts. Actually, that is where I came up with the idea for this blog. Sometimes the song playing over and over in my head wasn't allowing me the kind of day I wanted to have. I often have to take control and change the song playing on my mental radio. This morning, however, one of my favorite songs woke up with me. I can't tell you what I was dreaming about specifically but I woke with a smile on my face...DON'T LET ME DOWN/THE BEATLES

Saturday, April 10, 2010


After hearing about the American adopted family who sent a child with a one way ticket back to Russia, I was seriously disturbed. The family said they were misled by the Russian orphanage and that they got more than they bargained for. Now I can't pretend I know how emotionally disturbed this child is and perhaps he did pose a danger for this family because of his rages but come on people! We don't return our birth children if they are emotionally disturbed do we?
"This child is a little brattier than I wanted, God... may I please have a new model?" If you decide to be an adoptive parent you should be a person who has the capability to love a child that is adopted as much as you could love your birth children. Once you love like that you couldn't send a child back no matter what their behavior. OH YOU PRETTY THINGS-DAVID BOWIE

Friday, April 9, 2010

Pop-Start-DAY 26- GUNS N' ROSES

You know today is full of simple pleasures. Planting a few flowers and drinking some lemonade. The curtains are blowing in the breeze... Why not add a guilty pleasure song dedicated to my little helper Elijah. GUNS N' ROSES -SWEET CHILD O' MINE

Thursday, April 8, 2010


I am taking a moment today to be thankful. I am fortunate. No, I am not rich. I don't have money to blow left and right on lamps, rugs, shoes,purses, essential oils, cars. You know the important stuff. I do have food, a home, my family is in good health. You know it is funny.... I haven't heard a thing about Haiti lately. Hmmm. Must be out of fashion. If my home crumbles around me, will I be so quickly forgotten? COWBOY JUNKIES-A COMMON DISASTER

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


My mom is on a 10 day in the BVI. Unbelievably awesome! Last night she called to say they sailed(my aunt and uncle have a sailboat)to Norman Island-known for its history of pirates and treasures. In fact, Treasure Island, the novel was inspired by this very place. Well, my friends, I could let jealousy overtake me and blare out some Gin Blossoms because I have a 3 year old and a 10 day sail is probably not in my near future or I can take the high road and say live it large mom! Here's to hoping she has the time of her life. This is a band from the British Virgin Islands LASHING DOGS with the song MEDLEY

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Pop-Start-DAY 23-GREEN DAY

Have you ever thought about how your life has ended up on the course you are on? It seems that even though I made a million choices that would seemingly put me in a very different place, here I am. Though I know we are a people of free will, I struggle with the constant deja vu that would have me wonder whether I have traveled this same path before or I was destined to be on this road no matter the way I got here. Do they occasionally cross, these paths? Parallel Universes? Something to think about or drive yourself crazy with. Anyway, in the not so distant past (or is it? I know. Enough, enough!) I played this song to death. It has been wearing a path of its own in my head this morning. WHEN I COME AROUND-GREEN DAY

Thursday, April 1, 2010


You know I would hate to come across as preachy because I have a long way to go on my own path. However, there are some things I can't help but speak out about. I live in a supposedly open minded and liberal community-Yet there are astronomically disproportionate amounts of minority kids in " the system" as compared to white kids. This isn't unlike most of the country. Don't be disillusioned. It's not that more minority kids are committing the crimes it's just that they are the only ones being sought out and punished for them. Trust me the white kids are doing the same thing. However, they often receive a slap on the wrist while the minority kids are shoved into the juvenile system. It makes me think about how terrible it feels to be misjudged. It feels rotten. That pit in your stomach. You feel powerless to change peoples opinion of you. Imagine that pit in your stomach being a seemingly permanent part of your world. Ladies clutching their purses when you happen to be within 5 feet. Someone seeing you and all of the sudden remembering they should lock their car! When people are constantly telling you that you are a certain way you might just eventually say forget it. I'm getting blamed whether I do it or not so.... Don't get me wrong, people have a responsiblity to themselves to choose the better path but it's a little easier to find that path when people put up accurate signs rather than misleading curves. I am tired of people saying they are loving and open minded people and then proving the opposite in the very way they live and judge others. We all need to start taking a look inward.